Deleted Love Scene
WARNING: Censored for
ADULT SITUATIONS (18+)
Shadowborne: FANG

NOTE: The central content is first draft, and was ultimately cut. While this excerpt begins and ends in published material, the scene may include errors, or inconsistencies with the published story.

~ BREN ~

“…Bren, hear me, please,” he breathed. “Everything about this mission terrifies me. But especially the danger to you. I am… struggling to let you go.”

“But you won’t have to. We’re going together. And we’re all in danger when we do—including you.”

He nodded. “I am far more ready to be danger myself, than to let you—”

“I want to be part of the winning, Donavyn.”

He frowned. “What? I don’t understand.”

I took a deep breath. “When we come back from this mission, no matter what’s happened, I want to look back on it and be able to see that in any step we took forward, I earned my place.”

“Bren, you don’t earn your place. These are team efforts, none of us can move forward without the others.”

I nodded. “That’s exactly what I mean. I want to be your teammate. Not… not your pet to be protected from it all. It is dangerous. For both of us. And if we win, I want to know I was a part of making that happen.”

“I want you to feel that, too,” he croaked. His expression crumpled and he looked away, but he was nodding. “I’m sorry I tried to hold you back. Kgosi spoke with me—he believes in you, too, and was very clear with me how I let you down. So… I’ll do everything I can to help you, to ready you, to be there for you.”

I opened my mouth, but he raised a hand. “Please, listen. I want you to be certain…” he stepped right up to my toes, staring down at me with his jaw clenched. “I’m struggling with fear for you. I will battle it. I know I was wrong. I’ll endeavor not to be wrong again, but if I stumble, Bren, please, don’t give up on me. I struggle because I love you. Because you’re precious. Because I’m terrified of seeing you hurt. That’s all.”

I had to swallow a lump in my throat. “I’m afraid of that, too. I love you.”

He nodded. “I know. And I know… I’m still wrestling with my anger for the men who hurt you—” he dropped his voice, “—especially Talon. But you… I’m not angry with you. I’m terrified for you. But I won’t let it step in the way again. And if I do, you can do whatever you need to do to wake me up again.” He rubbed his cheek and I wasn’t sure if he realized he’d done it, but I felt the first smile creeping up, even as his expression sobered.

“Whatever you learn, whatever you need—however you must employ your skills in the moment to keep yourself safe and take steps towards our mutual goal, you do it, Bren. You don’t fear my response. You do it. I trust you. I know you. And I’ll do everything I can to help you.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “I trust you, too.”

“Thank God,” he breathed. Then his hands came up to cup my face as he searched my eyes for any resistance. But I felt nothing but relief and joy when he leaned down to kiss me.

 ...

~ DONAVYN ~

I was aware of little but the warmth of her clinging to my waist, and stumbling in the straw as I walked her backwards, but at some point she pulled out of the kiss. I felt cold and alarmed, but she only turned and tugged my hand towards the doorway into her little closet of a room at the back.

But the moment we stepped through the door and she returned to my arms and we began to undress each other, she whispered.

“…been working all day, I’m dirty. We shouldn’t—”

“Oh, we absolutely should,” I growled as I opened her shirt and pushed it off her shoulders. “But if it’s sweat you’re worried about…”

Hooking an arm around her lower back, still working at her buttons with the other, I walked her towards the back corner of the room where her pitcher and washing bowl perched on a small table.

“Get your clothes off, quickly,” I hushed, reluctantly let her go to yank off my boots, unbuckle my belt and shove off my leathers.

Moments later she threw herself back into my arms, and I slid a hand into the back of her hair, pulling out pins and tugging the braid loose until it draped down her back in crinkled waves.

She whispered again about being dirty, but it was between kissing her way down my neck and chest, and continuing the path down. I caught her chin and pulled her up, diving for her mouth as I reached with a fumbling hand for that cloth on the handle of the washing pitcher and dropped it into the water.

Barely wringing it out with the one free hand, still kissing her, I brought the rough cloth to her chest, letting the water slide down, over her br***t to stimulate her n****e, scrubbing her collarbones and across her chest. She gasped and flinched at the cold water, but I growled reassurance, and followed the path of the cloth with my mouth, wiping under each br***t and down her side before plunging it back into the water and starting again.

Bren shivered and her head tipped back when I leaned down to catch a drop of water that hung off one, taut n****e with my tongue, then sucked that gorgeous peak into my mouth.

For a long moment, I forgot the plan to clean her with anything but my tongue as she arched into me, her fingers plunging into my hair and holding me to her.

But I’d told her I’d listen, and trust her.

If she wanted to be clean, I’d clean her.

So, with a frustrated—but also delighted—growl, I lifted my head and plunged the washcloth back into the water, then began painting her body with it—until she took it from me and returned the favor.

Her skin pinked with the cold, and with the heated flush of desire as I kissed every part of her I could reach, while she scrubbed my chest—that water was shockingly cold—and then reached for me.

For a time we tangled, her hands on me, while I held her a$$ in both hands and kissed her with such ferocity our teeth clinked.

I wasn’t aware of moving her until her shoulders came up hard against the wall and she sucked in again. But when I lifted my head to make certain she wasn’t hurt, her eyes were glazed, and she stared at me with nothing short of lust,

“Bren?” I croaked. “I need you. But if you aren’t ready—”

“Yes,” she gasped. “I am, Donavyn. Please. Don’t stop.”

With a snarled gasp of relief, I pinned her to the wall, sliding both hands down far enough to hike her up into my arms, urging her quietly to wrap her legs around and hook her heels behind my back.

She bit her lip and followed my instructions, her eyes bright and needy. But I could feel the uncertainty in her, and I stopped, panting, holding her to the wall with my hips, but not yet taking her, cupping her face and staring into her eyes.

“I hate that you feel unsure with me right now,” I growled, angry at myself, not her.

Her lips twitched toward a smile. “It’s not you, Donavyn. I want this. I just… I haven’t done it like this before and I’m not sure—”

“Oh, you’ll be fine,” I hushed happily, kissing her again, the nipping her lip. “Differently strong, remember? Let me show you my skills,” I growled.

She laughed, but the beautiful sound broke off into a garbled cry when I held her up, over me, then let her slide down so I took her in a single plunge that opened her mouth and sent her head thudding back against the wall.

Her eyes flew wide and locked on mine, and neither of us moved for a breath.

“I love you, Bren,” I rumbled, clawing her hair back from her face, forcing myself to be gentle when I wanted her so badly my fingers wanted to claw.

“I love you more,” she whispered.

Then I set about proving to her that she was wrong.

I hadn’t taken her like this before, and it was clear, she was learning how to move, with me pinning her to the wall, and her legs curled around me, only her hands were free. As I held her by the thighs and told her every way I loved her, taking her slowly, but firmly, she gripped my shoulders, clawed down my back, fisted my hair—then back to my shoulders. She whispered my name, and that tiny sound sent a crackling thrill from where she hooked a hand behind my neck, down to the pooling heat behind my navel.

Unable to resist, I cupped one hand under her knee to keep her high, then picked up the pace, pulling off the wall only far enough to give her hips room to move.

She grabbed for me—then her mouth dropped open and she arched back, meeting me thrust for thrust.

I was thrilled, and stunned, and desperate. I needed her.

Watching her walk away from me just mere hours ago had felt like having one of my ribs pried loose, and now I needed her back, nestled safely next to my heart.

I couldn’t stop touching her, taking her, growling her name.

The universe became very small—just the dark corner of the stable, the rough wall under my palm when I leaned into her, the soft curves of her embracing me, the sweet, broken sighs that escaped her lips—and the silence when her breath caught and all I could hear was my own heart pounding.

I kept my eyes open the whole time, watching her slowly surrender to pleasure, her body shaking, her eyes fluttering, her voice cracking.

Then I looked down to see her br****ts pressed hard against my chest, watching them roll with the movement of our bodies, and I almost came.

“Shit, Bren!”

She tightened on me, but I knew she wasn’t there yet. And this position gave me no room to help her. With a rasped warning to her, “hold on!” I picked her up and turned her away from the wall, staggering to the tiny bed, cupping the back of her neck and laying my arm along her spine, holding her tightly to my chest until her head was on the pillow, and I’d covered her.

The position changed our angle, and when I thrust into her again, she gasped, one hand clapping to my back and nails digging into my skin.

Fighting for control, I punched a hand to the pillow next to her head, gripping it as tightly as I ever gripped a neck strap, tendons on my arm standing proud, as I fought not to come.

Bridging myself over her, still thrusting into her, though my rhythm was growing erratic, I thumbed her n****e briefly and leaned down to suck on it as I trailed the hand down so I could slide my thumb between us and find that nub hear her core.

Curled almost in half, still sucking on her, my arm trembled with the force of my need, and holding my bodyweight, but it was worth it as Bren arched back, hips loose and knees falling aside to bring us closer, arching herself into my touch.

We moved together, and her whimpers became cries, while I tried—and failed—to stifle the strangled grunts breaking in my throat.

And then, on the horizon of my mind, like a rising sun sweeping across the morning waters for the first time, the dragons crept into consciousness, those cords that bonded us to them, twisting together and reaching.

I was blind to anything but Bren, but the sensations in my body threatened to steal sanity as I felt her, reaching for me, calling for me, her mind wide open and body surrendered. To me.

Coming off her n****e with a pop, I threw my head back and arched, pounding into her. “Bren… God, I love you, Bren. You’re so fucking beautiful, I—”

She clenched on me and I shuddered, thrusting—and my body clanged.

I couldn’t hold myself back any longer.

But neither could Bren.

I watched, blazing with joy, as she threw her head back, clawed a hand into my hair, and her body bowed as she tightened on me like a fist, shoving me over the edge of control and into that incredible free fall.

We both cried out, bodies twitching and jerking, my toes digging into the quilts for leverage as we rode out that peak… then crashed back to earth together.

At some point, a sweet, slow, tingling touch began to play up and down my spine and I sighed with fierce relief—and undeniable joy.

We lay together without speaking for a time, while Bren stroked my back and her breath fluttered on my neck.

At one point she tried to move, but I clung to her, burying my face in her hair and refusing to let her go.

She embraced me with legs and arms and kissed the side of my neck. “Are you well?” she whispered in my ear.

“I don’t know how much time we have until this all comes crashing down around us,” I rasped against her neck, then kissed that salty skin. “So, I’m going to hold you as tightly, and for as long as I can.”

She gave a little sigh then, and though I could feel her happiness, I also heard the pinch of something cold and fearful in it.

Lifting my head, I met her eyes. “What is it? What pains you?”

She smiled at me, combing my sweaty hair back from my face and tucking it behind my ears. “I just… I know how it feels to lay here and be afraid. And I’m not, Donavyn. I hate that we fought. I hate that you questioned me. But I know you. I can feel you. I love you, and…” She let her hand slide down to the center of my chest, right over that space where the bond nestled next to my heart. My body—and the bond itself—leaped for her touch. “I’m just grateful you’re here,” she finished in a whisper.

We lay there for some time, our hearts slowing and syncing.

At some point she remembered Benji, and told me about his visit—and her fear that others were looking for her at the stable, and would soon figure out that she wasn’t sleeping here.

I grimaced and nodded. “One of the few benefits of us being called to fly soon.”

“I hate hiding you,” she said quietly, her eyes begging me to understand.

“The moment you feel ready—”

“I know, and I’m not. But I want you to know… I don’t want this. I don’t want to hide. I hate all this sneaking around.”

“As do I,” I said, which was when I saw how that fit in this whole picture. I shook my head. “All this hiding and deceit… it isn’t good for us. I understand why you want it, but we’re leaving soon. When we come back, we’ll stop hiding. We’ll face what needs to be faced together.”

She looked at me with big, worried eyes, but she didn’t argue. She just leaned up and kissed me deeply enough to make my body thrill again.

We weren’t ready to let the world intrude, and silently agreed to remain there for at least a few hours of rest.

When I lay on my side, with her pressed into my chest, one arm over her, she fell asleep almost immediately. She was exhausted.

Yet another aspect of this entire picture that I had mismeasured, I thought.

As she drifted into dreamland, I turned my thoughts to God, to pray for her silently, and beg Him to protect her. I vowed to do anything I could to fill her with confidence. But admitted that I was terrified we were out of time to train her. And once we were in the forest of the Fyrehold Court… well.

Only God knew.

Her survival instincts will help, but in pure skill… she would be a sheep among wolves.

Help her. Help me to help her. Help both of us.

And bring us back. Together. Safely.

Please.

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